Sher's Blog Archive Hits
Babies People whose special vulnerability demands the most extreme measures of protection. This special status ends at birth, when they become just another brat.
Baby 1. The kind of person we’ve lined up for the pain of Paying for our Wars, Tax Cuts, corporate Subsidies…the equivalent of all the Government Spending over one of Bush’s terms. 2. Torture, as appropriately used by Condoleeza when talking to the CIA about people lined up for the pain of Paying for Fighting us in Afghanistan, saying “It’s your baby. Go do it.”
Backdrop A slogan that suffices for Nuance in Bush Administration Speeches (for example, “Mission Accomplished”). Used as a supplement to Stadium Seating behind Bush and Cheney, to label the particular Bush policy that the stacked faces are cheering for.
Backward Places like Iraq without modern communications. For example, a week after Voting they’re still killing each other as fast as ever. Apparently they’re so backward that haven’t yet gotten the word that they don’t need to Influence the Election anymore.
Bad News A conspiracy between Liberal Politicians and the Liberal Media to disrupt the Republican Story. Since only good can come from Conservative Policies, Logic dictates that any News to the contrary must be Lies.
Bailout The plan announced by Bush to Protect People who, exercising bad judgment, Borrowed to the hilt with loans carrying Interest rates bound to go up at some point. In other words, people exactly like his Presidency.
Bailout Bill How Senate Majority Leader McConnell describes Obama’s Financial Industry Regulation Bill. While it’s actually a No Bailout bill, what’s wrong with making things a little Simpler by leaving off that first word?
Bandwagon Becoming a booster, like the GOP recently jumping on the “Government Debt is theft from our grandchildren” bandwagon. They’re specifically jumping on the rear end of this wagon, since 1) they previously were A-OK with taking candy from Babies and 2) being on the debt bandwagon after #1) makes them asses.
Bang for the Buck A measure of efficiency. Given the number of bangs heard over the last two terms (see Preemptive War and Shooters), coupled with reduced number of bucks (see Tax Cuts and Deficits), Future Historians will surely judge Bush’s Administration of Government as the most efficient ever!
Bankrupt As applied to Social Security, it means still being able to provide 74% of current benefits. As applied to People, it means they now must personally Pay back the whole Debt run up when they had more Money going out than coming in (for example, for big medical bills). As applied to Bush Administration fiscal practices, well, it's not!
Ball A gala affair that’s part hoedown, part shakedown.
Base A word pronounced, not coincidently, like the musical instrument that makes big sounds when lovingly stroked.
Beach A landscape feature formed by wave Action over thousands of years. People should thus get their beach Vacations in while they can because, once Global Warming Triggers Coastal Flooding (not to mention Oil Spills), the Wait for Earth to get a new set of beaches might get a little long.
Beast The anti-Christ, the horned creature that sticks it to the faithful. Is it a coincidence he’s also called “Gore”?
Belief What a Person holds to be the Truth. Dittoheads are more true to our beliefs than Liberals, since we believe that belief requires Action to make everyone else believe too (or at least Act that way). Happily, God created Government to make this possible.
Benchmark The Bush Administration’s term for a new timetable for Iraqis to step up to their commitment to Mission Accomplished. It’s totally different from a deadline, since that would be Cut and Run.
Bermuda A shining example for the employment benefits of low corporate Taxes. Bermuda’s world leadership in post box services for US corporate headquarters has created literally dozens of Jobs for them.
Big Easy The nickname for New Orleans, our model. Not because of the Flooding (although with Global Warming that may be the Future), but because making things easy for People (at the expense of Posterity) is a Vote magnet!
Bike A device for spinning wheels in order to end up where you started after expending lots of blood, sweat, and tears. The current enthusiasm of the President, similar to his previous hobby of Optional War.
Biofuel Bush’s State of the Union Solution to Global Warming. It’s a Win-Win because it Earmarks Money to Red State Agriculture even while making the Base happy because it doesn’t reduce any greenhouse gases. In other words, it's Greenwash with all the green funneled to supporters without wasting any on the Earth.
Biology A subject whose every topic is embarrassing, from human origins to genetic explanations of human behavior to the human sexual response. Considering how we Hate being embarrassed, maybe you don’t want to be going into this field, if you catch our drift!
Blank Check Giving someone the ability to freely withdraw from your bank account. We’re not of course willing to give this Power to Bureaucrats, since Money in Government accounts has to come from Taxes. We’re choosy about who gets a blank check! It only goes to Leaders like President Bush, because 1) he only spends on things that make us Proud to be Americans, and 2) he Borrows it all, so it's Free.
Blinders 1. Something a horse wears to Prevent distraction, so he’s not tempted to go in a different direction. 2. Something a Conservative wears (on his sleeve) to prevent distraction (for example, from Reality) so he’s not tempted to go in a different direction (say, giving Stimulus Money to poor people for a Change, on the Theory that they’ll Spend it).
Blockade 1. The drink of choice for enclaves under occupation. It’s like Gatorade without any ingredients from outside the walls. 2. A kind of Military Action, for example Israel’s Attack on the Aid flotilla to Gaza. Note the similarity to the term “blockhead.”
Bloodbath A bad thing that happens to a Foreign Country on the same continent as a War we pull out of, for example the Massacres in Cambodia. While we generally don’t care about such things (see Darfur), we’ll latch on if we can use the Comparison to sell Staying the Course.
Bode Someone who attracted an enthusiastic following in an initial performance, only to wither four years later in the face of over-hyped expectations and fallout from his own foolish behavior. Note that one does not have to be Bode to be a Bodeist. In fact, George W Bush is even more a Bode than Bode!
Body Counts A metric of progress towards Mission Accomplished that has unaccountably fallen into disuse over the last 25 years. This makes no sense – how can people see the light at the end of the tunnel without them? We’re using them again, of course, so it’s only a matter of time that the public realizes how well things have really been going in Iraq.
Bogus The best kind of Policy proposal – the ones that sound good but don’t have to Work. A great example is McCain’s proposal for a Gas Tax holiday when Simple Economics dictates that demand-driven price Increases will eat up the meager Savings. What matter? He got some nice Compassionate Conservatism points, the Oscar of bogus!
Bold The quality of Conservative programs that shows we have the Courage to do the Right thing (actually, the far-right thing), even knowing that Liberals will whine. This is actually easier than it looks. Although we act offended by Liberal complaints, it’s really music to our ears.
Bolton The first Dittohead United Nations ambassador. He had all the qualities needed in a Conservative Diplomat (only one, actually): staying on Message. For example, during the recent conflict between Israel and Hezbollah he tirelessly repeated that you can’t reach agreement with Terrorists, up to the very minute the ink was dry on their cease-fire. With him gone, it's a good thing the Military’s got Foreign Policy under control!
Bombing 1. The heinous urban Combat technique used by Terrorists to indiscriminately kill unlucky bystanders. 2. Our new urban Combat technique for killing Terrorists. (How do we know we’re not indiscriminately killing unlucky bystanders? Because that would look bad.)
Bond 1. How we borrow money when our state constitution says we can't run a deficit. How is this different from Federal Deficit spending? Well...uh....got it right here somewhere... 2. Used to tie up someone. We use them to tie up Posterity. Literally, Bilking Our Nonvoting Descendants. 3. A word used to describe pieces of paper, as in “20# bond” or “US Treasury Bond.
Boos and Hisses A common response from the other participants in international conferences when we’re executing our Foreign Policy Choices (for example, at the recent global Climate Change conference). We prefer it to Silence, which might be interpreted as approval. If Foreign Countries agreed with us on anything there would clearly be something Wrong!
Book Deal Laura and Jenna’s latest Hobby, writing about a boy that doesn’t like to read (maybe he's Incurious). Cynics might say they’re taking inspiration from a certain family member, but they’re clearly forgetting how engrossed W was with My Pet Goat on 9/11.
Boom The sound made by an Explosion, for example, in the term Baby Boomer. The sound in question is related to the explosion in Government expenses that will occur when they retire, specifically the sound of screaming when the Workers funding these exploding benefits (plus the Debt rolled down to them) start talking about Cutting them.
Bounce 1. In physics, the recoil of a plummeting body. The energy of the recoil is proportionate to the velocity of the fall. Shortly after recoil, the plummet resumes. 2. An increase in Poll Results periodically experienced by George W. Bush.
Bounty 1. A reward, for example Money Paid for a tip that leads to the apprehension of a wanted Person. 2. A windfall, for example as enjoyed by Afghani’s who cashed in on US offer of $5,000 (a BIG windfall in Afghani dollars) for naming as members of Al Qaeda their obnoxious neighbors, strangers, and just about anybody else whose name they knew. 3. A benefit, for example the Political boost Republicans got from filling up Gitmo with Terrorists apprehended in Afghanistan based on helpful tips from the natives.
Box Torture imposed on McCain, for which he deserves our deep sympathy and Respect. Specifically, he Heroically resisted being boxed in to supporting a hard Right running mate for days on end, right up the point he realized that he needs right wing turnout for Victory.
Brains The organ at the center of Ann Coulter’s new book “If Liberals Had Any Brains They’d Be Republicans.” She’s specifically speaking about her own standard-issue GOP brain, which Logically concludes that looking out for Number 1 must take precedence over Posterity, God’s creatures, the Earth, and indeed every single other human being.
Breeding 1. As recently revealed by a Dittohead South Carolina Politician (is there any other kind?), the Problem that arises from feeding stray animals and Poor Children, i.e. they reproduce. 2. The quality not demonstrated by his opinion.
Bribery Making Campaign Contributions (for example to a PAC) that end up in a Politician’s household banking account. A Criminal act except when the politician is thoughtful enough to share with his colleagues (see DeLay).
Bureau of Prisons The Government agency that handles the subset of prisoners still subject to the Constitution. Think how much Waste, Fraud, and Abuse we'll be able to cut once the CIA does them all (although the exact savings will of course be Secret).
Bureaucrats The callous and uncaring workers that Liberals want to be making healthcare decisions for People. That’s not Compassionate Conservativism! We’ll stick with our private sector HMO claims adjusters, thank you very much!
Burrowing 1. The behavior of insect pests who, Facing winter, chew their way into the Living hearts of Trees. 2. The practice of converting Political Operatives into Government Officeholders upon a Change in administration.
Bus 1. A conveyance, like McCain’s Straight Talk Express. 2. A way that Operatives convey their True opinions (in contrast to what they told Voters for the year preceding the Election), e.g. “Palin’s former handlers are now throwing her under the bus” (presumably the Real Straight Talk Express!)
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