Sher's Blog Archive Hits
I Got Mine The attitude towards Health care Reform being voiced by Seniors. The reasoning is that since they’re Perfectly Happy with their Government Health Insurance, any Action on the topic might Change something. Also known by what must be some kind of Foreign word (maybe Norwegian): “fukem.”
Ignore The proper response to suggestions from Liberals. For example, when an outgoing liberal administration tells us we should worry about Terrorists, screw them! Double if it’s a Clinton administration!
Immunity A word rhyming with Impunity, for good reason! Bremer gave Blackwater impunity, and when that proved insufficient to stop Liberals from nosing around after a Massacre, the State Department followed up with immunity.
Impunity The condition Blackwater has operated under since before the Invasion of Iraq. Bush is Whining that Democrats want to make them subject to somebody’s Laws. We, on the other hand, think of the current situation as a good slippery slope, where nobody gets Prosecuted for anything having to do with Iraq. It’s clear why that’s nirvana, Right?
In the Eye 1. A phrase referring to the ability of gifted Leaders like George W. Bush to take the measure of a man in just fifteen minutes, by “looking him in the eye.” 2. A phrase referring to what happens to a nation when its leader shows really crappy judgment, as in “a stick in the eye.”
Inauguration The official kickoff of our quadrennial Fundraising campaign. If we Won, we use the occasion to toss some Red Meat to the Base, in Honor of the Campaign Contributions that got us Elected. If we Lost, we use the occasion to remind the base how much they'll miss that red meat so that they'll toss us more Money.
Income Disparity The idea that the rich are making out like bandits (but going to Jail at a much lower rate). Even poor Conservatives think this is just fine, since any Dittohead is well-qualified (indeed, Earmarked) for a lucrative Job (see Loyalist).
Income Tax Day Our unofficial “National Republicanism Day,” when we whip Voters into a frenzy for having to contribute a portion of the Money that funds their Pork (the portion we haven't yet figured out a way to Borrow).
Incurious A blessed state similar to Buddhism’s nirvana. Those achieving incuriosity know everything they will ever need to know. Unlike nirvana, most Conservatives reach incurious with hardly any effort at all.
Incursion A kind of Invasion, like the one Turkey conducted in Iraq. They followed Bush’s Advice to “move quickly, achieve their objective, and get out.” They could do this because they’re already a Muslim country and don’t have to Surrender to the need to entertain their Base with Shooting at Towelheads.
Independence Day 1. The day we celebrate being able to enjoy the our way of Life without being beholden to any Foreign Country. We observe it by breezing down the Interstate in our SUVs, enjoying the great American Freedom of the Road (in between stops for Middle Eastern Gas). 2. First celebrated by not sending Tax dollars to London, now celebrated by sending Gas dollars to Riyadh.
Individualism The bedrock Conservative Principle that individuals individually thinking about a problem (see Global Warming) represents the proper way to address the problem. The process is most efficient when these individuals, facing Sacrifice, solve the problem by Deciding it doesn’t exist in the first place (see Denial).
Industrial Policy Activities that enable extraction of resources from deep pockets. It specifically addresses the deep pockets of large corporations but has considerable overlap with Tax Cuts, which mine all of the deep pockets.
Information The loving responsibility of Saddam's Information Minister Muhammed Saeed al-Sahaf. Some of MSS's greatest hits include "Our estimates are that none of them will come out alive unless they surrender to us quickly" and “We are winning!” The solemn responsibility for his special brand of War information has been assumed by Cheney, most recently with his pronouncements on the “enormous successes” being enjoyed in Iraq.
Inheritance A type of lottery that is the primary Source of funds for Campaign Contributions. As with all lotteries, winners receive a substantial unearned Payoff. There are three unique features of the inheritance lottery: 1) Inheritance lottery odds are typically 99:100. 2) Taxes on inheritance lottery Winnings are in process of being eliminated (patience, patience). 3) While most People are able to participate in an inheritance lottery, participation in the very largest lotteries is sharply limited. Note that while lottery winnings could technically become either Conservative or Liberal contributions, by happy coincidence the great Majority of the big winners are conservatives.
In Session The period between recesses, when a President is subjected to the tiresome Constitutional requirement to get the Advice and Consent of the Senate for Officeholder appointments. However, with our expertise in efficiency that comes from having Industry running the Government, we’ve perfected the process of stacking up Candidates so that the Recess Appointment floodgates are released the second the gavel falls. This Strategy has the added benefit of riddling agencies with vacancies, lessening the chances that Bureaucrats will get into trouble.
Inspire Something Presidents do in their speeches. Our favorite inspirational quotes are Abe’s “With malice toward none, with charity for all” and George W. Bush’s “Bring ‘em on!” So what if Bush mainly inspired Terrorists? That’s what he wanted (see Flypaper).
Insurgency 1. Operations that Gun-owning bloggers diligently plan night and day in anticipation of the UN power grab due any day now. 2. Operations of Terrorists in Iraq that, to a slight degree, are hampering the final Success due any day now.
Intelligence 1. OK, so maybe we have some problems in this area. Not to mention our problems with spying (see WMD). 2. A general-purpose "get out of jail free" card (see Excuse). If you make a Mess (see Iraq), you just say you had bad intelligence. If you're Lucky, People won't ask who's responsible for there being good intelligence!
Intelligence Agency A Think Tank that uses information from Sources to develop the Intelligence used to set Government policy. Sources are the Officeholders with information on the policy to be set and intelligence is the Facts justifying the policy.
Intent of the Voters The factor Liberals use to justify bolstering Terrorists by trying to horn in on Bush’s authority in Iraq. As if! If Citizens had really wanted limits on his Power they would have Voted Democrats a Veto-proof Majority.
Interpretation of the Law The component of Government where Stability is most important, since it’s the bedrock for the Rule of Law. That’s why we’re always Whining about Activist judges. Our New Right-Wing Supreme Court Majority will be the very model of stable interpretation of the law, just as soon as they reverse all the Precedents that were decided Wrong.
Invade A Campaign Strategy that works even better than Negative Political Advertising (if you can imagine that!) Happily, there are still enough Foreign Countries in the Axis of Evil to get us through two more Elections.
Invasion 1. Our preferred means of bringing a Foreign Country around to our point of view. 2. A mechanism for transferring a Foreign Country’s explosives to Terrorists. While some materiel might end up in IEDs or shipped overseas (say, to London), the important thing is that Enemies of Freedom like Saddam don't have it anymore!
Involved A word sometimes used colloquially as a synonym for having relations, as in “Bill and Monica were involved.” For example, the phrase “I was not involved” (see Rove) is exactly equivalent to “I did not have relations with that woman.”
Iran An Axis of Evil Foreign Country needing Invasion because of its Weapons. This time we’re absolutely sure they have them. Why? We still have the bill of sale from when Reagan used them to get Money for the Contras.
Iraq A country we pronounce as "eye rack" but, in consideration of the sensitivities of the inhabitants, the correct pronunciation is "EEEE ROCK!"
Iraqi Army Another great example of a former Enemy becoming an Ally, just like with Germany and Japan. There’s still a bit of work to do, of course, considering it’s only been four years since Mission Accomplished. For example, they need to stop trying to kill our soldiers when their backs are turned.
Irony Poetic Justice, like when the two Red States with the most Climate Change doubters, Texas and Georgia (see Dittoheads) are having a hundred year Flood and Drought, respectively. Maybe in another hundred years they'll notice.
Ironic Incongruity between what should be versus what is, for example Conservatives scornful of Conservation. Modern conservatives are necessarily impervious to Irony, with the exception of delighting in the irony of using Constitutional amendments passed to Protect Minorities to take away protections.
Intemperance An important Conservative value. Why do you think we keep the booze flowing at those campaign dinners?
Is To make equivalence, identify, or name. For example, saying “She is a CIA agent” is equivalent to “she is named as a CIA agent” (depending on what your definition of “is” is).
Israeli-Palestinian Conflict Something like a religious-based Civil War, complete with suicide bombers, that’s been going on for generations. It’s nothing like the Iraq War! Nope, that one’s completely different. For one thing, it will be over soon (but not according to any kind of timetable, though. That would be Cut and Run). How do we know it will be over soon? Because it’s not like the Israeli-Palestinian conflict!
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