Sher's Blog Archive Hits
Labor Day Our celebration of the contributions of individual Workers. Not their sweat on the Job, of course (as if!) We're celebrating their pension fund contributions. Anything that flows that much Money into the Stock Market deserves an annual party.
Last Throes The term Cheney has lately been using for Iraqi Insurgents. It replaces Rumsfeld’s “dead-enders” from two years ago. The old term had to go, since Voters have figured out that dead-ends don’t take years to drive down!
Laws on the Books A phrase that Conservatives now use differently. Before our new Supreme Court killed Trigger Locks and other Gun Regulations, we could sanctimoniously say “let’s just Enforce the laws on the Books.” Now we say “let’s get those Laws off the books.”
Lawyered Up A bad State of Affairs. Going by the Constitution for Terrorists like the Underwear Bomber means that 1) he’s harder to Torture and (especially) 2) Trial Lawyers have more Money to give to Democrats.
Layoff An obsolete term for the modern employee benefit of outplacement. Employers provide lucky winners with all manner of special career services and bonuses. Companies can afford this magnanimity due to higher profits achieved via Offshoring.
Leak Getting payback by putting out Facts that embarrass our Enemies (for example, that their wife Works for the CIA). If it causes Liberal reporters from the New York Times to go to Jail, that’s when we know there really is a God!
Leave Behind A President’s Legacy, like Bush’s when he said “one of the things I will leave behind is a multilateralism to deal with tyrants, so problems can be solved diplomatically.” He’s gotten a Head start on this legacy because he Left Behind multilateralism (see Cowboy) and Diplomacy (see Invasion) years ago.
Left Behind We believe that “no child should be left behind.” That’s why we need Christian education in our schools – to make sure kids are Tribulation-ready. It’s the least we can do for them, considering that they’ll be paying our bills when they grow up. Of course, this won't be a problem if our red heifer breeding program comes in early (the ultimate Win-Win!)
Legislative Reality A wildly innovative technique invented by Conservatives and first used in our Abortion Criminalization initiative. When the Supreme Court said that any abortion Law had to protect a woman’s Health, we passed one saying that a particular procedure used by Doctors to protect a woman’s health is never actually needed. It’s a good thing that Truth is more Flexible for conservatives than Liberals; can you image what would happen if they started legislating Reality? For example, they’d pass a law that we can’t have Tax Cuts that Increase Deficits, Ignoring the reality (which will be demonstrated any day now) that cutting taxes causes Tax Revenues to Explode!
Legislators America’s premier experts in medical procedures related to pregnancy.
Leno 1. A champion of Morality, through his tireless pursuit of depraved Groping by Liberal Officeholders (OK, ex-Officeholders, but some crimes are just too heinous to forget!). 2. A proven platform for launching a Conservative political campaign.
Lesson A means of influencing others to act properly. We’re teaching Terrorists a lesson by conquering countries whose people belong to their Religion. Too bad they don't seem to get it. Fortunately, Conservative voters do, and they matter more anyway.
Lethality Risk of Death. For example, Dittoheads frequently point out the deadly danger posed to the home front from Muslim Terrorists. While over the last decade nobody’s actually been attacked by a US Muslim terrorist, we clearly can’t expect our Luck to hold out forever. Fortunately, changing the Constitution to require forehead Tattoos for un-American Religions will address the risk until we get mo Gitmos.
Leverage Another term for influence. For example, we recently used our political leverage to make sure that Government does not take unfair advantage of Drug companies when negotiating discounts for Seniors.
Leveraged Buyout 1. A Strategy for gaining corporate Power. Group A takes over Company B using Money contributed on the understanding that, once in charge, Company A will use Company B’s revenues to Pay back contributors. The Result: crippling levels of Borrowing. 2. A Strategy for gaining Political Power. Party A takes over Country B using Money Contributed on the understanding that, once in charge, Party A will use Country B’s revenues to pay back Contributors (see Tax Cuts and Subsidies). The Result: the same, when it’s Party R.
Lieberman The famous comic book superhero who’s special Power is Political shape-shifting. His unique shtick is that he doesn’t have the normal superhero Secret identity. Instead, he has identities both as a Democrat and a Republican. The secret is which he really is.
Life A quality that begins at conception and ends at execution.
Limits of Government 1. A major preoccupation of the Bush Administration, specifically on eliminating limits on the President imposed by past Congresses (see Unitary Executive). 2. A major preoccupation of the Bush Administration, specifically in ensuring that the Options of Future Presidents are limited (see Starve the Beast).
Line A recurring GOP idea. The Republican Party wants Voters to remember when we talk about lines in the sand (see Invasion) and walking the line (see Morally superior). Too bad what they actually remember is Red State Governors talking about the tan lines of their mistresses (see Adultery).
Lipstick® A registered trademark of McCain Palin PLLC, the national Lobby firm (international, if you count being able to see Russia). All Rights reserved. Unauthorized use will be vigorously Prosecuted as sexism.
Liquidation 1. The process of dismantling a Bankrupt Bank, for example by using the Fund being set up by the finance Industry Reform Bill. It would be the opposite of a Bailout (which preserves a bankrupt bank) except that’s impossible since Senate Minority Leader McConnell has said they’re the same.
Live With It Our new strategy for dealing with Global Warming. It skips the Hard Work that would be needed to do something about it. So what if this results in Coastal Flooding and an Ice Age for Europe? Dittoheads don’t take European Vacations and especially won’t need to once all the beaches are in Red States.
Lockbox The concept that Social Security contributions shouldn’t be spent on current Government expenses (a process enabled when these contributions are exchanged for Bonds stored in a West Virginia filing cabinet). There are two problems with this approach: 1) Al Gore suggested it 2) we need that money for new Tax Cuts. Our “change purse” approach is better: We set up accounts for a small piece of people’s Social Security contributions, Borrowing (via bonds) the Trillions needed to cover the diversion. The advantage? We can store those bonds in that same filing cabinet, saving tens of tax dollars!
Loop The collection of people with required expertise to set Government policy in critical areas like counter-terrorism (see Crony). Does not include functionaries in peripheral areas like Intelligence.
Loophole A way to have your cake and eat it too. In our case, it’s being able to rail against new Laws restricting the Right to Bear Arms after yet another Shooter pursues personal happiness via a Body Count. We merely repeat the Mantra “Enforce the laws on the books,” knowing that Contributors and GOP-Voting Wackos can easily get any Weapon they want at a Gun Show.
Losing Altitude The Excuse (see Lie) that Bush used to leave his Camp David meeting to sneak off to Iraq. Strictly speaking, though, he was telling the Truth. While his advisors thought he was talking about being tired, he was actually referring to his Polls.
Love The quality shown in Bush’s Veto of a Children’s Health Bill because insurance companies might lose business. Some might ask “Where’s the Compassion?” The Answer is that you show it first to those you love the most.
Loyal Bushie A certification that serves for Government employment (and continued employment, for that matter) like a Law degree serves for Legal employment, say as a Prosecutor. In fact, if you’ve got that first certification, the second is Flexible.
Loyalist A reliable Dittohead partisan, someone who 1. voted for George W Bush and 2. opposes Abortion and Gun control. If you get those Right you’re clearly qualified to hold any key US post in Iraq.
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