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Sher's Blog Archive Hits This is What Treason Really Looks Like, Ann White House Prayer Meetings as a Substitute for Ethical Behavior This Ain't Your Grandma's Party! Sher's Ratios: Sex to Scandal and Mischief to Money Fourth Grade Economics Midterm My Pitch to the Club for Growth
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O Obligations Legal and Moral Commitments. As you might expect, they’re a key component of Conservative Policy. The best example is our enthusiasm in obligating Posterity to Pay our Bills for us (see Debt). Obscenity 1. A naked breast displayed by a Hollywood celebrity (i.e., a Liberal), deserving of outrage and sanctions. 2. The proper therapeutic retort to an annoying Question from a Liberal (i.e., pretty much any question). Occupation 1. A Job. 2. Having Power over a Foreign Country. 3. Having a job with the Occupying Power by being a Loyal Bushie. Occupying Power Here's what Ike had to say on the same topic as Bush's neverending statements on how we will have Victory in Iraq if we only Stay the Course: Ike on Iraq. Off Budget The Freedom to not have to worry about accounting when we’re planning a New round of Tax Cuts, Privatization, and Invasions. Offensive How you come across when in your heart you know you're Right. And if you're not offensive, you're definitely not doing it Right! Officeholder A Government employee who, as a Conservative, specializes in creative justifications for Tax Cuts, and as a Liberal, specializes in Waste, Fraud, and Abuse. Offshoring Shifting of work from US programmers to their counterparts in Foreign Countries who work for peanuts. The economic benefits are clear: it enriches corporate executives so they can make more Campaign Contributions. It also neutralizes the displaced technicians. While the political inclinations of this wacky group are not clear, why take the chance? Offshore Drilling A Source of Oil that carries an Special (and delicious) benefit when it’s off the shore of a Blue State. Off the Rails A strategy that worked so well with Amtrak that we’re now using it for all Government operations. Ohio The new Florida, like Right is the new center. Oil A commodity so important to society that our political Leaders should have special expertise in this Industry. The background that Bush and Cheney have in Petroleum has really paid off! Profits have never been higher. Oil for Food A particularly debilitating version of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD). For reasons yet unknown, only Conservatives are subject to the OFF strain of OCD. Symptoms include incessant pointless Ranting and armed Invasion of Foreign Countries. Olympics A nice (and rare) chance to see foreigners on Television who aren’t rioting because of us. Ombudsman An Officeholder with no artificial limits on his constituency. A great example is Representative Don Young of Alaska (famous for his Bridge to Nowhere) for lining up a Florida road after finding out the local Congressman was taking a pass on some whopping Campaign Contributions. Omniscience 1. God’s knowledge of every Secret. 2. The Supreme Court’s new requirement for People suing for salary discrimination in their Job. One Drop The tradition that a single black ancestor makes one entirely black. For these modern times, we’ve Evolved beyond that Limiting Idea (by counting Muslim ancestors too). One-Shot A Conservative fail-safe for ensuring that assets accumulated since the days of the Founding Fathers are properly liquidated when additional Tax Cuts are needed (i.e., as fast as we can sell either). This has the additional benefit of eliminating the Risk that they’ll be squandered by Posterity. On the Run The current situation with Iraqi Terrorists (see Last Throes). Specifically, they’re running up Body Counts. Oops The frequent result of our putting our Plans into motion, for example Invading Iraq to eliminate WMD that weren’t actually there. While word mavens say that oops is a “natural exclamation,” we’ve shown that it actually means something: Outcome Of Poor Strategy. In this respect it closely resembles the acronym FUBAR. Open-Ended The only kind of Spending commitment we can agree to accept. After all, members of our Base could be anywhere, so why take the chance that they’d accidentally get cut out of some Government spending? Operation Chaos Rush’s plan to create confusion in Democratic Primaries by having Dittoheads Lie at Polling places. The Plan had great Promise, considering who was doing it and what they had to do. The Fatal flaw was that the Result was only detectable if Democrats didn’t Act normal. Operative A Government Officeholder named after the medical operation, particularly the part at the end when everything gets all sewed up. Opium How the Citizens of Afghanistan are showing self-reliance such that we don’t have to send them lots of Foreign Aid. It’s like those Indian casinos. Opportunity Exciting New possibilities enabled by Changes like Global Warming. We’re fully on board with the Promise of being Green. Not by spending Money to reduce Greenhouse Gasses, of course. No, we’re letting capitalism solve the problem. For example, we’re buying up land in the arctic for a song. Optimistic The standard Bush drum-beat on the Economy, except when above-average drum-beating for Tax Cuts is needed (see Recession). We thus optimistically think of a downturn as the silver lining in otherwise depressing economic News. Optional A kind of War dictated by circumstances (i.e., whether we need a boost in the Polls). A short victorious war is a time-honored approach to gaining political advantage, and we love tradition! O'Reilly The hero that is bringing to Television the same fairness and balance now seen in Talk Radio. Osama Who? Outrage 1. The emotion elicited by Immoral acts, e.g., Tax increases, Subsidy cuts, or Democrats having sex. 2. Justifiable anger that Liberals are scoring points with the public, as in our Senator Chuck Hagel’s “I’m outraged over the outrage.” Overreach Our most natural act, more natural than breathing. Our motto is “if you’re not overreaching you’re not really trying.” Oversight 1. Having Responsibility for something important, for example the Speaker’s oversight over the Page program. 2. Not Remembering something important, for example the Speaker’s oversight over the Page program. Owe A mechanism for securing funds to meet voter expectations for increased government benefits without raising taxes. Short for Offspring Will Endure. Ownership Having total control of Money or resources - the ultimate Entitlement. We want Industry to have full ownership of the country’s natural resources, lest any inefficiently slip through to future generations. In addition, voters need ownership of the money of future generations, lest they spend it Wrong (how should they know how to spend money – they’re not even born yet?!) Not to worry, though; by running up Debt we’ve already spent their money Right. |
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