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Sher's Blog Archive Hits

Top 10 Reasons Bush Won!

George's New Ride

This is What Treason Really Looks Like, Ann

White House Prayer Meetings as a Substitute for Ethical Behavior

This Ain't Your Grandma's Party!

Sher's Ratios: Sex to Scandal and Mischief to Money

Fourth Grade Economics Midterm

Appreciating God's Handiwork

My Pitch to the Club for Growth

 

R

R&R 1. Military slang for “rest and recreation.” 2. Iraqi slang for “roped and ridden.”

Race Blindness  The ultimate Policy win-win. Conservatives keep the Moral high ground even while we keep our institutions lily-white. Now if we could just do something about all those Asians.

Race Card A Conservative staple employed by Right wing luminaries like Clarence Thomas. Anybody can play this card, though, and we’re particularly pleased to see Democrats getting in the game. It always inflames racial tension, and racial tension is GOP jet fuel!

Railroad  A means of transport. We use it to transport bills through Congress.

Raise the Bar To adopt a higher standard (a Bush Reelection selling point), for example by moving Rove keeping his job from the low standard Involved” to the higher standard “convicted.”

Ram  Synonym for the verb "to legislate."

Rankle What guys with a lot of rank (see Military) do to us when they express their opinion (for example, that it would be dumb to Invade Iraq or Bomb Iran). That's why rankle is always followed by rankless.

Rant  To speak.

Rationing The idea that some people won’t get some kinds of care because of a Decision by a Government Bureaucrat. We prefer to ration by having lots of people getting no care because of decisions by Employers and HMOs (i.e. Industry bureaucrats).

Rattle 1. The sound the straw makes at the bottom of the milkshake. 2. The sound McCain wants to hear echoing around the land as audio affirmation that we’ve Successfully  SLUURRRPed up the Oil reserves that prior Generations Passed Down for the benefit of Posterity

Reach Out 1. (Archaic) Seeking Bipartisan Support for Measures to address a critical national Emergency. 2. As so often demonstrated by George W Bush, the first step in picking up your Veto pen. 

Read  An important Bush priority. It’s why he stayed on in that Florida elementary school classroom after the 9/11 impacts – to demonstrate how a Leader should be Spending his time. (Also, he was almost to the end of The Pet Goat, a particularly good Story.)

Reading A key Republican Interest to which we turn in moments of Crisis, for example George W Bush reading My Pet Goat while the Country was under attack on 9/11 and Dittohead Senator Coburn requiring a 700 page Bill to be read on the Floor of the Senate as the country was under attack from the prospect of Health Insurance Reform.

Reagan The Political genius behind the Great advance of the GOP tide. His brilliant discovery, an insight still reverberating through History, is that Voters like Free Stuff (see Deficits).

Realistic Steward  Hannity’s Prescription for Environmental Policy, translated as “committed to environmental Protection as long as there is no impediment to the traditional Right of Industry to pillage resources.”

Realistic Training A best practice technique of the National Guard troops that Bush recently pulled from Iraq to stop smuggling of Immigrants. They’re learning to stop this Evil Act by first seeing what it feels like.

Reality  The Truth needed for Reelection. Any resemblance to actual events is purely coincidental.

Real Cost The Liberal idea that there is a Moral obligation to Pay for the indirect costs of activities like burning. If we cared about such things, we’d pay our direct costs (see Deficit).

Rebrand 1. A process used by cattle rustlers to steal cattle. 2. A process that many Conservatives Believe needs to happen before they can get back to stealing Elections.

Rebuild  Bold Action that Bush wants to take in the Gulf coast. From Posterity’s standpoint, it should be spelled “rebilled” (see Debt)

Rebuilding Program  Our highest Moral priority, since people are suffering because of our Mistakes. Even more importantly, if Iraqis don’t calm down we’ll be toast in the next Election. Fortunately, we have Money available because New Orleans is in a Blue State.

Recall Bringing Congress back into session to Vote on Energy Bills, like McCain wants to do (hoping Voters won’t recall the energy votes he skipped when Congress was still in session.)

Recess Appointment  A way to get the Right guys installed without interference from Congress, just like a Unitary Executive should be able to all the time (patience, patience).  

Recession A word named for a periodic recess we get from the usual Hard Work of selling Tax Cuts.  

Recision  A key Medical procedure, similar to (but more important than) the surgeon’s incision. Most operations have a successful incision, but the recision operation is only Successful (see Profitable Health Insurance Industry) if the person who paid all those insurance premiums gets stiffed.  

Reconciliation The process by which aggrieved Parties work out their differences. The ultimate objective of the Surge was to provide the Means for reconciliation, and we’re Proud at how much Energy the Iraqis are now putting into it! (see Explosion)

Reconciliation 1. A coming together of former Enemies. 2. A Legislative ploy to screw the other side by Ramming through a Bill.

Recount Confirmation that the Conservative Candidate really did win (see Florida).

Recourse Getting Payback for grievances. We’re either really against this or really for it, depending on how much violence is involved. We’re against recourse when the victim gets a Lawyer and files a lawsuit (see Tort Reform). On the other hand, we’re enthusiastic about People’s Right to recourse via Shooting (see Right to Bear Arms). 

Recruiting Another positive Legacy of the Bush Administration. With the Economy tanking, laid off workers are lining up to drive tanks. Yet another example of clever leveraging of the natural synergies between Economic and Foreign Policy.

Recruitment  Getting fighters to sign up. The Bush Administration has taken effective action to dramatically increase recruitment. Now if we can just do for the Military what we’ve done for Terrorists, we’ll have all the soldiers we could possibly need!

Red Cross  The international version of the ALCU. In other words, yet another useless Liberal organization whose sole purpose is to impede the spread of Freedom!

Redeploy The ridiculous Liberal notion that the Military should base operations out of a Foreign Country near Iraq. How would they be able to block the bullets the Iraqis are shooting at each other?

Red Line  An example of Bush’s skilled Diplomacy, a limit he’s warning North Korea not to cross. He’s not spelling out what will happen when they do, but here’s what it is: he’ll get so peeved his face will turn red as he draws the next line. It’s the diplomatic equivalent of a Signing Statement.

Redistribution 1. Taking Money from Wealthy People (see Republicans) to give to the poor. It’s Evil. 2. Taking money from Rich Foreign Countries like Saudi Arabia (see Borrowing) to give Tax Cuts to Wealthy People by Promising that the Unborn will Pay them back. It’s Policy.

Redistricting  1. A divisive, time-consuming process initiated by Liberals sometimes as often as once a decade to engineer misshapen legislative districts that give their Candidates an illegitimate advantage. 2. Annual Conservative efforts initiated as needed to preserve the critical democratic principle of "one man, one vote" (see DeLay).

Red Meat  The real breakfast of champions. (And lunch and dinner).

Red States  The "land of the free and the home of the brave" in our song.

Reelection  What happened for George W. Bush. Technically it was his Election, but we’re not ones to split hairs. Unless we’re Recounting, at which point we split wigs (see Florida).

Referendum The People speaking with one voice, preferably Rush’s.

Reflex An involuntary spasm, like the jerk of a knee hit by a hammer or the GOP calling for more Tax Cuts after being hammered by Voters.

Reform  A synonym for Privatization, as is "Medicare reform," "Social Security reform," and particularly "Environmental regulatory reform."

Regional Party The current destination of the GOP, also described as “goin’ South.”

Regrettable Sadness due to an unavoidable situation, for example when People want to discriminate. Liberals would have the Government step in, but the Rights of restaurant Owners to be Free of the awkward situation of being bossed around by the people of the Wrong Color (when taking their food orders) obviously trumps any right those people have to eat when they’re traveling.

Regulations  Rules for ensuring that Industry is properly contributing to the general welfare of the nation. Rule #1 is that when they give us Contributions, all the other rules go away! Since rules we didn't make are always bad, what could be better for the nation's welfare?

Reinvention As practiced by the modern GOP, the deliberate process of thoughtful reflection following an Election Loss. The Result is a set of well-conceived new Excuses for doing the same old Stuff that makes us feel good.

Relief 1. The usual term for Increasing Government Spending while Cutting Taxes because a Recession Threatens. It’s named for the liberating feeling of Freedom you get from knowing that someone else (i.e. Posterity) will be Paying for your Free stuff. 2. The New Focus of the GOP convention because of the Hurricane, specifically relief that Bush won’t be showing up (see Party Crashing).

Religion 1. A means of avoiding those headaches we used to get in Science class. 2. (Archaic) A means employed by many people of good will to divine the meaning of Life.

Religious 1. See Republican. 2. Advocating a vigorous Foreign Policy, i.e., one that takes advantage of the exciting possibilities offered by Assassination and Invasion.

Religious Organization  1. A type of Conservative political action committee with special Tax advantages. 2. An evil collection of Enemies intent on destroying all that America stands for. 3. (Archaic) A group of people who gather to worship God and do good works according to their common tradition.

Remember The ability to recall important events. It’s a GOP strength when related to important issues like getting even. However, it doesn’t apply to Trivial events like being told that one of the congressmen you are Leading as Speaker is hitting on Pages.

Rendition  An event where someone sings. We have a version we call special rendition, where we ship Terrorists to Foreign Countries with a culture that encourages “singing.” Think of it as our rendition of “Stars and Stripes Forever.”

Repeal  Getting rid of outdated Liberal laws (which is all of them). Next time we’re in Power, we’re going after the Big Enchilada (AKA Bill of Rights) starting with Freedom of Speech (see Flag).  

Repeal and Replace The new Republican Strategy vis a vis Health Care Reform, reflecting our desire to return to core GOP Principles. The specific Historic principles we want to return to are Ignoring health care Problems to Focus on Tax Cuts for the Rich.

Republican  See Religious.

Republican Brand A phrase frequently used by Conservative Politicians worried about being toast in the next Elections. For some reason People don’t use the phrase with Democrats, probably because branding makes them Think about Cowboys.

Republican Party 1. (Archaic) The Political Party of Abe, Ike, and Teddy, formerly known for its championing of traditional (as opposed to modern) Conservative Values. 2. The festivities being put on by the modern GOP, focused on maximum hospitality towards the invitees to the revelry (see Base), and financed, in the manner of the prodigal son, by squandering the Inheritance.

Rerun The Right wing’s favorite kind of Television Show since there’s no chance of being Surprised by Change. That’s why we’re Waiting for the rerun of Health care Reform (see Hillary).

Research  1. Valuable efforts by Scientists to investigate Nature, for example by playing with mold. It’s valuable because we can laugh at Democrats trying to line up Government grants for research (which we can make sound like Porky Earmarks) as part of a Stimulus package. Happily, Voters don’t seem to remember the laughter when research like playing with mold leads to breakthroughs like penicillin. 2. A terrific substitute for action. It’s why the US is the world Leader in research into Global Warming but is also the world leader in not doing anything about it (see Kyoto). Note: research is not appropriate for areas of Science where there might actually be Results (see Stem Cell Research).

Resolution Intent to do something, except for Congressional resolutions, which involve no actual action. No matter. When it’s an anti-Surge resolution, we still pull out the stops to stop it.

Respect  The appreciation for Sacrifice by the Military that only Conservatives show. Liberals only want to bring them home. Where’s the Compassion?!

Respectful The kind of Campaign McCain once Promised, and he’s delivered! For example, when he recently said he’d “kick Obama’s you know what,” note John’s Dignified avoidance of the word “ass.”

Responsibility  Something that, in all of its meanings, only belongs to Liberals (see Blame and Irresponsible Tax Cuts).

Results How things turn out. While things haven’t turned out too good with Iraq, the Deficit, and now the Economy, we expect Voters to give us another chance. The great thing about chance is that if you keep rolling the dice you'll eventually get the number you’re looking for (see Gamble). Considering our results lately, people gotta figure we’re due.

Return As Bush points out, an area of easy bipartisan agreement. Both Republicans and Democrats agree that the Army needs to return. The only insignificant difference is that the Dems want troops to return to the US and the GOP wants them to return to the same numbers in Iraq as last year (at which point they return to the Korea Model).

Revenues  The proceeds from our Borrowing. Not to be confused with Money from Immoral Taxation.

Revisionism  Liberals having the effrontery to say that they weren’t just falling over themselves to Invade Iraq.

Rewriting History in the Past A phrase Bush recently used in an interview. While most Voters saw this as yet another example of him being tongue-tied, he was actually on the level. He was merely differentiating it from the rewriting of History in the Future that his Operatives do for Global Warming.

Rich Wealthy People with a Strong Interest in not rocking the boat (see Change). Fortunately, the rising tide of Coastal Flooding due to Global Warming lifts the yachts nice and easy.

Ride it Out The distinguishing skill of a Cowboy. When the bucking starts, he does Whatever It Takes to stay in the saddle. That's why we're a bunch of cowboys, and the biggest cowboys are our Leaders.

Rider  Attaching your Pork to an important bill like funding for the Military, Disaster relief, or bird flu prevention. If you’re a real Conservative like Sen Ted Stevens of Alaska (see Bridge to nowhere), you attach it to all three!

Rifle A helpful tool in the Immigration Crisis. It allows you to take out illegal Immigrants at a distance, long before they get close enough to Motor Vehicle to get a drivers license.

Right  A term associated with things that feel good, like lower Taxes and new Government benefits. Our political motto is “if it feels good, do it!”

Right Guy  How Bush recently described the Iraqi Prime Minister, based on his usual measures: the Heckofajob he’s doing and after looking into his soul.

Rights Something that Citizens of Foreign Countries need more of. As for here, we’re all set, thank you very much.

Rights of the Unborn  The right of generations of Americans yet to be born to be saddled with Debt from the Government goodies we don’t feel inclined to Pay for. They’ll be OK, though. We’ll just teach them in Sunday School that the hole they're in is Character-building retribution for original Sin.

Right Side of History  Having a Candidate whose Beliefs reflect Historical Trends, for example Global Warming, dwindling Oil supplies, Exploding Deficits, Increasing Income Disparity, and America’s eroding Leadership in Science.  Our Dittohead running mate is Perfectly qualified, because she’ll reflect these Liberal notions Right back to where they came from!

Right to Bear Arms  Along with the free exercise of Religion, the reason we temporarily tolerate the Bill of Rights until we can finish getting rid of the Liberal parts (i.e., the rest of it). We love RKBA so much we’re making it our special gift to the Iraqis, by Redeploying Saddam’s mighty arms warehouses to them (see looting), by putting his WMD Secrets out on the web, and by making sure that controls on the Guns we send over are as loosey-goosey as the ones we “enforce” here (see Columbine).

Right to Democracy  The Bush Ideal that “Governments have an Obligation to promote and Defend.” His Support for his buddy Pervez puts these words into Action. While Liberals Whine that Musharraf took Power in a Military Coup and is sticking around even after Losing the last Election, Bush recognizes the Right’s Truth that Democracy is too important to leave to Voters (see Florida).

RINO Our name for a Moderate Republican, meaning either “Republican In Name Only” or “Reasonableness and Intelligence Not an Option.” Same difference.   

Risk  A threat of a bad outcome, usually associated with loss of Moolah we’ve Earned.

 

Risky A Strategy that involves taking a chance. Our new No Brainer Gamble on a Surge in Iraq isn’t risky since there’s no chance it won’t Keep the ball rolling.

RNC  The Leadership of the GOP. Note: the meaning of the letters has recently Changed. They used to mean “Republican National Committee.” They now mean “Rush, Newt and Cheney.”

Road  Win-win Government spending for Conservative Officeholders. SUV owners have more places to go as we thumb our noses at Environmentalists. Let’s Borrow more Money and build a bunch more!

Roe  A garnish featured in our Fundraisers. We use its caviar form to motivate our fat cats (see get out of Jail Free) and its Legal form to motivate our Christianists (see Criminalize Abortion).

Rogue  A Candidate who is no longer under the control of the Decider who made her a running mate, as McCain reportedly now Thinks about Palin. Sort of like a Maverick.

Roll the Dice What a Gambler does when he thinks he’s due for a Surge of Luck. Considering how things have gone in Iraq, we most definitely are due!

Romantic How you Talk about your Love, like Bush when he described the ”in some ways romantic” task of “confronting danger.” He was talking about War.

Routine 1. A standard procedure executed many times in the same way. 2. A word Tony Snow used to describe how Bush Commuted Prison for Scooter without following DOJ procedures or even consulting with them.

Rove  A character in the Washington DC edition of Clueâ, as in “Karl Rove in the Rose Garden with the poisoned dagger.”

Rovegate  A Liberal Non-story based on a simple misunderstanding. Since when has Payback been a Crime?

Royalty 1. The most Privileged class of society. 2. Money Paid, for example by the Oil Industry to MMS. 3. The status these monies accrue to the payer by the payee.

Rudy A nickname formed according the same phonetic rule as the nickname “Bushie,” the Rule being to add the “ee” sound to a defining term (e.g. Bush as in “bush league” + ee). By coincidence, both Rude-ee and Bush-ee mean the same thing.

Rugged Individualist  A Conservative who doesn’t want one penny more than every cent of Government benefits he is Entitled to.

Rule of Law The first rule of Politics: If you’re in Power, Law and Order is the law that you order up!

Ruling A decision made by a judicial body, for example our New Right-Wing Supreme Court Majority. It comes from the term “Ruler,” someone who can decide something any way he damn pleases.

Rummy Our proof that the best Defense (Secretary) is one who is strongly Offensive.

Rumsfeld  The Government Officeholder whose job it is to tell Citizens about all the "Stuff" that "happens" in our busy administration.

Run  Persistent bashing of your Reelection campaign opponent. By that measure, it’s still Bush-Cheney 2004!

Rush  See God. (For his talent, at least. Unless the loan's been recalled).

Rut  Something Liberals have gotten themselves into by Hating George W. Bush. Happily for them, they can easily get out of it. All they have to do is follow our lead and worship the ground he walks on.

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