Sher Wright's Devils Dictionary Project

Sher's Blog Archive Hits

Waffle Voting against something after voting for it, like Kerry. GOP Senator Warner wasn’t doing a Flip-Flop when he voted against the anti-Surge bill he sponsored because he now says he wants to vote For it.

Wake Up Call What Republican Politicians are saying about their Candidates being toast in recent Special Elections. Fortunately, alarm clocks come with a snooze button (see Cliff).

Walkout Along with Invasion, one of the Bush Administration’s two negotiation strategies (see Kyoto).

War 1. How we deal with Enemies. It lets us do Political Advertisements that make them look really bad. 2. A Foreign Policy situation during which no Incumbent has ever failed to achieve Reelection. It clearly needs to be part of future Conservative Campaign Strategy (Duh!) Happily, Bush’s pioneering of Optional war means that this powerful tool is now in our hands rather than the Enemy’s.

War Czar The new position that had to be created because Accountability for Success in Iraq was becoming uncomfortably focused on the Commander in Chief, the National Security Advisor, the Secretary of Defense, the Secretary of State, the Commanding General of CENTCOM, and the Commander of US Forces in Iraq.

Warfare As with Tax Cuts, an Issue that Works best for Republicans when the Action is Permanent (see Never Surrender).

Warhead The most effective form of Nuclear Power. We have enough to blow up the Soviet Union (if it still existed) and the rest of the world (should it need it) many times. So let’s make lots more!

Warning Notification that a Disaster is about to happen (see Levee). Warnings always relate to the Future, which we don't care much about (see Posterity), so we'll only do something if our Cronies are up for it.

War Between the States The conflict also known as the US Civil War. Condi has been pitching it as equivalent to Iraq. What a great idea! It compares Bush to Lincoln, which is much better than last week's comparison to Truman. Now we won't have to worry about Voters remembering that Truman was a Democrat. Too bad Condi didn't remember that Iraq isn't having a Civil War.

War on Christianity The Liberal Atheist assault on our Right to put People in Prison if they disobey our perfect reading of God’s laws.

War on Christmas If at first you don’t Succeed (see Iraq), try, try again! If you're Fox, it means trying 58 War on Christmas segments.

War on Terror How we Fight fear, specifically our terror of losing Power.

Warlord A tribal Leader who helps us out with Stability once our Invasion is over.

Waste Disposal A huge business except when getting rid of Waste has traditionally been Free, like with the Greenhouse Gasses created when you burn something. Since we believe in traditional Values, we can’t agree with Industry suddenly having to Pay just because there might be Desertification, Coastal Flooding, killer Hurricanes, and an early Ice Age. We prefer to burn those Bridges when we come to them. In other words, this is the one time we’re in favor of PayGo (since if we're Lucky Posterity will do all the paying after we're gone).

Waste, Fraud, and Abuse The Government program comprising the largest proportion of federal spending. When Conservatives eliminate it, we’ll be able to get some real Tax Cuts. Calculated by adding up the budgets of Liberal programs.

Watch 1. In the Navy, a period of command, for example Officer of the Watch. 2. For McCain (a Military guy), his Plan of Action for Recession during his period as Commander in Chief.

Water An impassible shield against Liberal criticism, based on the truism that “politics stops at the water’s edge.” This means they can’t make any criticisms that people in Foreign Countries might hear about. We don’t actually know why that’s bad, but Fox does, which is good enough for us.

Waterboarding The major guest aquatic leisure activity at Club Gitmo, perhaps reflecting the balmy Caribbean setting.

Water Down What Bush accurately denied doing (see Quibble) after deleting six pages of details from a recent Government report on Climate Change, since, following the alleged watering down, the document was still perfectly dry.

Waver A genteel word used at events without Friendly Audiences (like Debates) where it’s not good for people to hear Bush say Flip-Flop.

Way Forward Another name for the course you’re on. If you’re not Staying the Course, you need to be on the way out (see Loyalist).

Weakness In the Military, an Enemy shortcoming to be aggressively exploited. That’s why McCain, a Navy guy, is single-mindedly exploiting the Democrat Party weakness of Thinking that Deficits Matter. He’s attacking this Achilles heel by proposing Bogus Cuts for every Tax in existence (and even some that might be Extinct!).

Weaknesses The new Strategy of Creationist Politicians to promote Religious Tenets in Science class by convincing students not to Believe in Evolution. It’s Simple - you just define the Questions that Scientists are are now getting around to Work on as Failures of the Theory.

Wealthy Society’s reward for superior judgment, for example superior Choice of parents.

Weapon A core American Industry and (this being the industry-loving GOP) a core component of our domestic and Foreign Policy. This is for both positive and Negative reasons, but mostly positive. We positively believe that every Person and Foreign Country ought to be packing American-made weapons (which is why Guns constitute most of our Foreign Aid). The only exception is the Axis of Evil, and even then we’re willing to sell to Iran (see Reagan) as long as they don’t try making their own.

Weasel Our mascot during Budget games, who’s out there Cheerleading as we weasel out of our Deficit reduction promises.

Weather A word pronounced the same as “whether.” That’s strange, considering there is absolutely positively no Question whether the weather is being impacted by Global Warming (it’s not.)

Welfare Something that, according to the Constitution, Government is supposed to promote. There’d be a whole lot less confusion on if the Founding Fathers had spelled out that they meant promoting the welfare of rich folk!

Well-Delivered The Mocking phrase we use whenever a Democratic Candidate gives a popular Speech, implying that any air-head can read a teleprompter (as Loyal Bushies know well from experience).

Well-Regulated A example of a quaint word usage by the Founding Fathers that can be misleading to modern (i.e. Liberal) ears. They actually meant the “well” in well-regulated in the sense of a water well - a hole through which an essential of Life is delivered. Thus the NRA’s interpretation of well as "not." It's even more True if you think of the Constitutional phrase "well-regulated militia" as the loophole through which the essential source of life, Liberty, and happiness (see Gun) is delivered.

Whales Majestic sea creatures driven Crazy by Navy sonar practice. Bush just gave the Military a Free pass to Ignore the Law Protecting them, based on his personal experience that crazy is a perfectly Natural State.

Whatever It Takes A lack of concern for the niceties. It’s our way of looking at the sunny side of Life.

Whine The sound of Moral indignation, as voiced by the Nation’s moral Leaders (i.e., US) after being Immorally denied Power by Voters.

Whiners Citizens who see their glass (and Stock portfolio) as Half Empty due to the Mental Recession Hoax.

Whirlwind 1. A wind noted by its spiral pattern and by its blowing in and out quickly without warning. 2. A word that has been used to describe Bush’s recent trip to Iraq. It’s particularly apt, considering how he spent a full fifteen minutes speaking with the Iraqi Prime Minister on how well things are going, after having to spiral down to avoid being shot down and having to keep the trip secret so that none of his new Iraqi partners could tell people with Missiles where to shoot!

Whistleblower A type of Enemy whose loose lips sink our slips.

Whoops What happens when we employ WMD in our Campaign Strategy. Literally, Weapon Hunts Originated On Paltry Suspicion.

Wildlife Charming critters whose Conservation is a personal virtue. If they all went Extinct, how could we blast them?

Willful Ignorance The phrase used in the Ethics Committee report on Foley’s hitting on House Pages to describe the behavior of the GOP Leaders involved. As if that’s a surprise! It’s the very quintessence of being Dittohead.

Wink 1. A signal to the Military that we’ll back them up if Liberals get on their backs for doing Whatever It Takes. Always accompanied by Fingercrossing behind our back. 2. Communication of glee to co-conspirators in a deception, for example as used between Con men. Our New Right-wing Supreme Court Majority uses it with each new Ruling, communicating glee at the Irony of using anti-Segregation Precedents to re-segregate.

Winning The state of affairs in our Military Adventures like Iraq as long as there hasn’t been an undeniable total and absolute collapse. Our world-class capacity for Denial thus makes us natural born winners.

Wise Men Three VIPs who were turning over big chunks of their wealth to the new head guy within minutes of his arrival on the scene. Yet another example of a proven system to be conserved (which is why they call us Conservatives).

Wish List Presents you want someone (see Taxpayer) to buy for you. Our wish list is Iran, Syria, and North Korea.

Wistfulness The feeling associated with a hopeful Dream, like when Conservative Columnists wistfully muse that Abramoff will hurt Democrats as much as Republicans.

WMD 1. A precious US natural resource to be preserved at all costs from Liberal encroachments like the Nuclear Test Ban Treaty. Happily, Conservative senators have a perfect record for protecting America’s world leadership in WMD (literally, “Worship of Manly Devices.” See also NRA). 2. A Foreign Policy technique. Short for “War Motive Doctoring.”

Woman The civilian term for what the Ashcroft Justice Department would call a “motherhood vessel.”

Work The factor that best accounts for Job success by ultra-wealthy Conservatives. Short for Wealth Originating from Rich Kinfolk.

Working The status of a GOP program (for example, a Surge) until the next fix for it announced.

World Bank The organization now being run by Wolfowitz, the architect of the Iraq Invasion. Experts predict Preemptive War on the Central Bank of China by year’s end.

World War III 1. An excellent justification - should it happen - for more Tax Cuts. When global War demands maximum strength, what can be more important than the Economic vitality that lower Taxes provide? Knee-jerk tax-raising Democrats would argue that taxes went up during WWII (when a democrat was President, of course). Our rebuttal is that they didn’t have China to Borrow from. 2. A regrettable but possibly necessary Foreign Policy measure for ridding Iran of its Nuclear ambitions. On the plus side, maybe this is how God planned for the Apocalypse to get kicked off.