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Fourth Grade Economics Midterm

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Fourth Grade Economics Midterm

Dittohead ex-Senator George Allen of Virginia recently said “If there are some bond buyers out there who think higher taxes and more regulations and more litigation is conductive to this economy or will improve the economy, that’s their point of view. It’s not borne out by fourth graders who understand economics.” has taken him up on his challenge with test questions on economics that a fourth grader could get correct.

Question 1: the burden that America’s taxes impose on our standard of living. A man was walking down the street. He passed a candy store and saw lots of delicious candies in the window. It made his mouth water to think about eating them. He particularly liked a big strawberry lollipop he saw there. He looked in his wallet to check that he had enough money. He had a dollar bill plus some fifty dollar bills. He planned to use the dollar bill in a soda machine at work. Without that dollar bill, he would have to find a way to get change for one of his fifty dollar bills. While he was thinking about this, he noticed that this very same lollipop, still in its wrapper, was sitting on the lap of a sleeping baby in the carriage right next to him. The baby’s mother was talking on a cell phone, and was facing away from them. The man realized that he could take the lollipop from the baby without anyone seeing it. He could then enjoy the lollipop while keeping the dollar he wanted to use in the machine. What should the man do? A. Just take the lollipop from the baby. B. Buy the lollipop with the dollar and do without a soda from the machine. C. Give the dollar to the homeless man lying next to the baby. Scoring. A= future political conservative, B=future political moderate, C=future political liberal.

Question 2: Would an “awful” Democratic victory in the Senate races (as Senator Allen put it) “prompt higher dependence on foreign oil.” Timmy was spending the day playing with Ahmed, the boy from the house in the middle of his block (East of Timmy’s home across the pond). Timmy loved coke, and was constantly going back to the refrigerator for more of that energizing brown liquid. Timmy’s mother had told him to make sure he saved some for his younger brothers and sisters. They would be coming home later, after Timmy finished playing. Timmy knew they would want their share of the coke, but he also knew that playing made him so thirsty that the coke might run out before they got home. He told this to Ahmed, who said “my family has gallons and gallons of coke. We can give you all you want! What should Timmy do? A. Drink Ahmed’s coke, saving more for his little sisters and brothers and impressing his parents with his consideration. B. Drink up all his family’s coke, since it would be bad to owe Ahmed a favor, it would put the youngsters in their places, and it would show his parents how much he hated their stupid rules. C. Not drink anything at all so he could feel noble about the sacrifice he was making. Scoring: A=future moderate. B=future Dittohead Senator C=future ELF operative.

Question 3: Whether “higher taxes and more regulations” are conductive to the economy. Pretend that the grownups of your school all noticed that they could buy nice boats if they spent less on school taxes. They got together and voted to cut the amount of money schools get. Your school’s principal was told he had to fire some of the people who ran the school. The teachers made the principal fire the custodial staff. Pretty soon the bathrooms became smelly and kids started getting sick. What does this say about economics, jobs, regulations, and the environment? A. Cutting taxes is a great way to create more American jobs, since boat dealers are all Americans while custodial staff are probably illegal immigrants. B. Cutting taxes is a great way to create more American jobs, since smelly bathrooms make it easier to evade stupid rules that prevent smoking of American tobacco products. C. The teachers’ union is too powerful. Scoring: the correct answer is “What do you mean pretend – this is what happened at my school this year!” This question tests how economically “heads up” the fourth grader is, the very quality that Senator Allen expects of them.

Next Class!


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