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Sher's Blog Archive Hits This is What Treason Really Looks Like, Ann White House Prayer Meetings as a Substitute for Ethical Behavior This Ain't Your Grandma's Party! Sher's Ratios: Sex to Scandal and Mischief to Money Fourth Grade Economics Midterm My Pitch to the Club for Growth
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This Ain't Your Grandma's Party! The following story was inspired by the RNC
speeches and interviews presenting Bush’s GOP as a “big tent party” with “plenty
of room for moderates.” Once upon a time, there was a beautiful little
girl named Red Riding Hood who received an invitation from her beloved
Grandmother to come to her party. Grandma was holding the event in honor of
Madison, her pet goat, who lived in the garden outside of Grandma’s house.
Little Red Riding Hood loved her Grandma, and wanted to be like her in every
way. She appreciated the proper values that Grandma taught her: that she should
be friendly with her neighbors, should be thrifty and put aside money for a
rainy day, should always take good care of her home and even the wild animals in
the woods, and, most of all, that she should always tell the truth. So at the
end of the Summer Red Riding Hood started off for the party in Madison’s garden.
However, unknown to Riding Hood, a big bad wolf had snuck in and gobbled her
Grandma up! Then, as Riding Hood approached the garden with its big party tent,
the wolf saw her coming and decided he needed her for dessert. So the wolf
quickly dressed up in Grandma’s clothes and sat down right in the center of the
big tent. Little Red Riding Hood, walking into the garden, was at first sure she
had arrived at Grandma’s party. After all, she could see Grandma’s beloved gnome
statues – the ones she called Abe, Teddy, and Ike. And there was the big tent
that Grandma had told her about. But there was something different about
Grandma. She said, “Grandma, what big eyes you have!” The Wolf said “the better
to see what you’re all up to, My Dear.” Then Little Red Riding Hood said
“Grandma, what big claws you have.” The Wolf said “the better to show the
neighbors who’s boss, My Dear.” Then Little Red Riding Hood said “Grandma, what
a big mouth you have.” And the Wolf said “the better to gobble everything up, My
Dear, and you’re next!” Little Red Riding Hood screamed, and her cries attracted
a soldier who was passing by. “What’s going on?” he shouted, but before Red
Riding Hood could say anything, the Wolf said “She’s a tax loving tree hugging
Liberal!” The soldier was initially confused, but then quickly realized the
truth of his words. “Sorry, carry on,” he said, and the Wolf showed Little Red
Riding Hood just what he thought upcoming generations were good for. And the
Wolf and the soldier lived happily ever after in Grandma’s big tent. |
What's that bird in the Background? Are You Smarter Than a Fourth Grader? Click if you like: Click if you hate: |
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